If You Don't Want to Lose Your Way, Buy a Map or Something
by Is Not Doing Homework
Summary: This story is being scrapped, however I an transferring many ideas to my new story (which is the revision I was talking about). Check my profile.


While I'm usually against using Japanese vocabulary in English works, I want to make an exception to honorifics. I already replaced all the "Oi's" with "Hey's" and the "Aru's" with "Uh-huh" or "Yes?," and it still feels a bit off. Thanks for reading in advance, and, well… please don't mind the repetition.

Consider this an epilogue because it's basically a summarization of the recent events that are gonna matter in this fic and basically show where all the characters stand.

And I also promise that after this chapter, I'll break the fourth wall not nearly as much.

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><p><strong>Prologue : When You Stick Your Nose Where it's Not Supposed to be, You're Bound to Smell Something Horribly Fierce <strong>

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><p>Kagura strolled on the night streets of Kabukicho, twirling her umbrella even though it wasn't bright out. 'Gin-chan and Shinpachi don't need to bring themselves into this, yes?' she thought, scanning her surroundings as if she thought someone was stalking her.'After all, they think all is good… and this is a sibling's matter.'<p>

Only a few weeks ago had Soyo moved away for her brother's safety, and all was thought well, but it then occurred to Kagura that her own dear brother probably cut ties with the Harusame. This meant two things to her.

Firstly, her brother was probably still on Earth. He may have his own loyal crew of cold-blooded killers, yet despite how much of an idiot he was, Kagura doubted he was ignorant enough to go into space alone when there was a giant prize on his head. She had to wonder what havoc he was possibly causing on her turf.

Secondly, if her brother wasn't with the Harusame anymore, who was in charge of Yoshiwara? And what was barring the Harusame from attacking the Yorozuya? Kamui had promised to protect the city for just long enough to battle Gintoki, but that was all done now, wasn't it? The Harusame could spring itself back into power on Yoshiwara any day now, and perhaps even the Yorozuya. After all, there were multiple fights between the Yorozuya and the Harusame, and with the latest events, the Harusame was more likely to spring itself onto Gintoki.

'They'll probably lecture me about going off and doing this on my own, yes? But once I settle the score with Kamui, I'll make sure he tells me information about the Harusame and then I'll tell Gin-chan and the others…' She closed her umbrella and stuffed it down her back. 'For now… This is just about Kamui and me, uh-huh.'

"Huuh? What's a brat like you doing out this late?" The voice sounded more deadpan than cookware burnt through the bottom. Hah, see what I did there?

With a scowl on her face, Kagura turned around. "Hey, I don't have time for rotten cops like you, or stupid puns like that." Hurtful.

Okita looked at her condescendingly. "Unfortunately, I have some business with you, so be a good little girl and abide with the law."

"What?" she asked unbelievingly. "I didn't do anything lately! I've been good! Ask Gin-chan, I've even been lowering my calorie intake!"

"What the hell does calorie intake have to do with being good?"

Kagura looked him over. "And what the hell do you have to do with me? You aren't even wearing your uniform, so I doubt this is any 'legal business,' uh-huh. What, came out for a night in the town? Trying to get luck-y? Kuhuhu, what a lo-o-oser."

"On the job or off the job, it concerns me if a young girl comes alone to a shady place like this alone and at night," he refuted. "Didn't you notice all the old bums staring?"

Kagura looked around. The buildings were all run down with mischievous eyes peeping out of every crevice. Shady indeed. "Of course I did!" she argued.

Okita sighed. "You're a yato, right?" He looked unwilling to go through their usual banter.

"What of it?" she asked suspiciously, continuing to walk in the direction of Yoshiwara, not bothering to see if Okita was following her.

"What are your weaknesses?" he asked, his voice trailing behind her. "I already know about the sunlight, because that's the most pointless plot device this series has."

"Like I'd tell you!" she yelled back. "You're obviously going to try something funny on me, yes?!"

Okita sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Listen, brat, I have important things to take care of that a child like you probably wouldn't understand."

Kagura slowly felt her temper rising. "If I'm such a child, I probably wouldn't have anything to tell you, yes?" she replied sassily. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I've got some important business, uh-huh. A wanna-be cop like you can go and scram, yes?" Kagura stopped in front of a shady looking elevator that looked wide enough to fit fifty people.

"Yoshiwara... Don't tell me…"

Kagura turned around, a mild expression of shock on her face. '... Does he know?"

With the most deadpan face ever possible, Okita said, "You're going down to Yoshiwara to make a quick buck out of lolicons who'll ****** and ***** and *** *** ***. Is that right? "

"YOU BASTAAAARD!"

And with a swift punch that was strong enough to make graphite into diamond within a second, Okita was sent flying in the opposite direction while Kagura made her way into an elevator, down into Yoshiwara.

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><p>Tsukuyo blinked. "Kagura, what are you doing here so late?"<p>

"I have important information to relay to you, uh-huh."

"Couldn't that wait until tomorrow? Does Gintoki know you're here?"

"Gin-chan doesn't own me, uh-huh. Plus, when someone comes to meet you late at night, you know something serious is going to happen, yes?"

Tsukuyo rose an eyebrow but ultimately decided to humor her. "Fine then. What is it?" she asked, the two of them sitting down at a bench.

"Tsukki, has there been anything shady going on in Yoshiwara lately?" asked Kagura, her whole demeanor changing.

Tsukuyo took out her pipe, sensing a long conversation coming up. "Now that you mention it… I was going to call you guys down in a few days. It seems like there have been surprise attacks on the Hyakka around this time of night." She breathed out a trail of smoke. "All the more reason for you not to be here so late."

Kagura huffed; she wanted to argue that she could fare for herself, but ultimately decided not to. "Do you know why?"

Tsukuyo shook her head. "The people have always concealed their identity, but not once have they tried to finish us off; they'd fight the Hyakka until we were hindered powerless and then run away. It was like they were testing us," she explained. "I was hoping you guys could trail them after they left, seeing as you're less likely to attract attention, not being part of the Hyakka."  
>"These attackers… Do they seem human?"<p>

Tsukuyo turned her head to Kagura, sensing that the girl knew something. "I wouldn't know; I was never there for an attack. In fact, I was patrolling right now looking for anyone suspicious." She sighed. "What do you know?"

"Do you remember when Yoshiwara was first freed? My brother was there."

"M'm. The boy with the braid."

"Apparently, those idiot Space Pirates gave him control over Yoshiwara. He promised not to let anyone touch it because he wanted to fight Gin-chan, but something happened and he's no longer affiliated with them."

Tsukuyo looked slightly alarmed at the news but kept her composure. "You mean to tell me… Right now Yoshiwara has no Harusame influence?"

Kagura shook her head. "Not at all… I'd say the opposite, uh-huh. Those Space Pirates spent many years building up this city, yes? Then I'd assume they'd want to take it back. Especially with the new Shogun under their wing."

Tsukuyo could barely contain her shock. "A new… Sogun?" she repeated. She nodded to herself, suddenly gaining the knowledge of what happened and skipping the exposition of how she learned such things through the magic of fanfiction. "I see… So any moment now they can spring into action and attack our city. Yer' saying that these people attacking the Hyakka are the Harusame?"

Kagura started kicking her legs. "Beats me. I'm just saying it's possible, uh-huh. While I think it's pretty likely, I wouldn't know for sure. But I also came to ask you something else."

Tsukuyo looked somewhat reluctant to go and switch topics. "What is it?"

"After my stupid took charge of this place, did he really just stand back and do nothing?"

Tsukuyo nodded. "Yeah. We've been running Yoshiwara ourselves. But now here's a question for you. How long ago did yer brother break off from the Harusame?"

"A month ago."

"A month ago?!" she exclaimed. "Hey, hey, you waited this long to tell me 'bout something?!"

"It's not my fault, uh-huh!" Kagura argued back. "I just thought of it now! And it's not like he broke ties for sure, I'm just pretty sure he did, yes?!"

Tsukuyo sulked back, deciding not to argue with a fourteen year old. She let out a long, exasperated sigh. "... They must have their own game plan by now," she muttered to herself. "Yoshiwara can very well go into a civil war."

"Huh?"

"Even after Housen was defeated, there were still loyalists alive," Tsukuyo explained. "You remember, don't you? Hinowa told you that you ran into some of them while opening up the city."

Kagura faced forward with a look of deep thought.

"They only stayed in check because they had no choice; but if word gets out that the Harusame might resume power, those jackasses may have an ace up their sleeve… The remaining Hyakka."

Kagura paused, trying to think of what a mature adult would say in response; she was by no means any tactician. "It's possible that they won't make any moves soon though, yes?" she interjected, trying to lift the mood. "After all… there's a new Shogun, so I'm betting that all of their attention is going towards that, uh-huh." She paused again. "Hey, Tsukki… Can you keep that I came here a secret from Gin-chan?"

Tsukuyo looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Huh? Why?"

"I have something I have to do alone, uh-huh. Keep it a secret just for now, yes?"

She scratched her head. "Well I suppose…" She already felt like she'd eventually regret promising her this, but there was something about the girl that just seemed so different this time around. "But promise me you'll tell them before you go in headfirst, alright?" she insisted apathetically, crossing her arms. "And me too, since I'm sure someone's going to drag me into this whole ordeal again." She gave Kagura a sly smile before taking another drag of her pipe.

Kagura looked at her with admiration. "Tsukki…" 'You're such a tsundere, yes?' She swung her legs and hopped off the bench. "Alright! I'll head back for today, yes? So if you find anything out, be sure to tell me, uh-huh."

Tsukuyo simply nodded, and walked off in the other direction. 'I wonder what she's trying to accomplish… and on her own, too.'

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><p>Kagura only took a few more cautious steps before someone stepped in her way.<p>

She frowned. "Hey, I thought I felt scum watching me, yes? What the hell are you doing down here? Did you stalk me? Don't tell me, the gorilla has rubbed off of you, yes?" she asked impatiently. She chortled. "Kuhuhu, don't tell me you like me. How gro-o-oss," she sang, waving her hand dismissively with a look of triumph.

Sougo, not in the mood for banter, simply skipped right to the point. "What were you talking about with that woman?"

"None of your business, uh-huh. Your influence doesn't matter down here, yes?" Kagura said blankly and walked around Okita."I'm turning a new leaf, uh-huh. I don't have time to deal with brats like you."

"That's my line," Okita refuted impassively, beginning to follow her. "I suspected that a hollow-headed imbecile like you wouldn't cooperate, so I guess I don't have a choice."

Kagura turned back with a deadpan face. "Huh?" And before she knew it, there was a metal collar around her neck with a chain leash leading to the sadist's hand. She broke the chain within a split second. "WHAT'S THE IDEA, YOU BASTARD?!" she barked.

"Well, I thought that if you won't tell me what I need to know, I might as well follow you around."

"FORGET THE STALKING FOR NOW, WHAT THE HELL IS THE COLLAR FOR?!"

"To make sure you don't get away."

"WHY ARE YOU GOING THROUGH SUCH LENGTHS, HUH?"

"Well, this kind of forced shipping makes the readers happy, does it not?" he asked, unfazed by all the screaming. "You see, the more lovey-dovey we act, the more reviews we get. 'Kyaaaa, they got togetheeeerr!,' they'll say, and for some reason, review count makes the author happy." He scratched his head. "I don't really get it, but I guess small things like that satisfy the socially awkward."

"HEEY! Don't talk about the reviewers like that! Otherwise they'll complain and then the no good author will go into a depression!"

"Don't tell me you haven't been trying to do the same thing too," he challenged. "Why're you trying to act all cute with all the 'o-o-o's' and insisting that I like you? Heh. Exactly."

Kagura felt her face turning red with anger. "LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS! It's all that rabid fangirl author's fault, isn't it?!"

I… I'm reading all of this, y'know. And I'm only making an "Okikagu" plotline to get more views-

"STAY OUT OF IT!"

"Well China, this is your only option unless you want to hear me out."

Kagura pouted ungratefully. "Fine, fine. What do you want, uh-huh?"

Okita looked to the right, almost as if he was viewing a flashback. Probably because he was. "To my knowledge, the yato is a mercenary clan with superhuman strength and natural fighting abilities. Most of you guys die on the battlefield, correct?"

Kagura pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "Yeah, so what? Are you trying to imply something?"

"I have a vendetta on a certain yato," he explained, "but not you of course; getting vengence on you would be as satisfying as stepping on a spider by accident."

"What?! Bastard, take that back!"

"In any case, I just need to know more about your kind," he replied as if he hadn't heard her.

Kagura pouted and turned away. "Other than sunlight, there really isn't any specific weakness against our species as a whole. It's just like you said. Not only are we born fighters but our injuries heal within a moment's notice… Whoever you picked a fight with, you're probably going to be sent to your grave."

Okita's eyes narrowed. "That can't be all, can it?"

"Well that's it for now," Kagura answered in a carefree tone and began walking away. "Until that idiot Gorilla makes a chapter about yatos, they're seemingly invincible for now… unless they're background characters, in which you'd probably kick their sorry asses because you're a protagonist."

"Hey, China," he called to her.

She turned her head halfway.

"I don't know what you're trying to dig up, but we may be after the same goal after all… If we aren't, I couldn't give a rat's ass about what happens to you, but out of the goodness of my altruistic heart-" "What? You have one of those?" "-I'll warn you that Kabukicho is the only district left in Edo under the current Shogun's influence that holds hostile feelings towards him." He stuffed his hands in his pocket and began to walk past Kagura. "Considering recent events, I wouldn't be surprised if your little slave trade business would be the first to go… Keep that a secret from the Boss for now, alright?"

Kagura groaned under her breath. '... That guy… What's with this serious demeanor? He's up to no good.' She stared suspiciously at his back. 'Is he trying to bring Gin-chan into this?'

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><p><strong>END<strong>

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><p>So yeah. That's it, for this chapter at least. I'll be aiming for 4k words per chapter, and this was more or less half that. Pardon any mistakes, repetition, and out of character moments because as my name implies... I was doing this instead of my homework.<p> 


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